awake?

the darkness calls to me
i sway left to right.
the razor on the
table
catches my eye,
-the whispers in my ear
stop
for a moment-
and everything
is
clear.
i am transported,
to a meadow
in winter,
-but i feel no cold-
the razor on
treestump
catches my eye,
the whispers
urge on and
against
dizzy with
delight
i twirl in the white flurries
i glance at the
razor
on the treestump
and i
stop
and i
fall
and i
crawl to it
theres
blood
its fresh
and
sticky and
warm
i feel
something
hot and
liquidy
its running
down my arm
i look
and i
gasp
crimson life
flows out of my arm
i collapse
the darkness calls to me
i hear your voice
and i see your eyes
you call for me
you're scared for me
you need me
you miss me
you hold my hands
i feel your tears
you whisper
three little words
just harmless words
'i love you'
death is waiting
'i love you'
death comes closer
'i love you'
death wants me
'i love you'
death welcomes me
'i love you'
i shun him
'i love you'
and i cry
'i love you'
and i scream
'i love you'
and i battle with...
'i love you'
myself...
'i love you too.'