You Tried To Leave Me Behind

It's not my fault,
dont bury me in your guilt,
you could have been better,
should have been better,
Left me here to read your suicide letter.

I was only 13,
how could you,
dont you know I loved you,
you want me to forgive someone who was willing to give it all up?
thats not right,
I wouldn't have done that to you,
I was a clueless naive child,
didnt understand what you were willing to do.

Nothing is the same now,
even though its been four years,
your promises are empty,
I promise I promise you,
you would say,
that still dosnt make it ok.

If that day in the hotel room on the highway,
was your last breathing place,
would you really have wanted the last thing I said to you,
to be something I would regret every second of my life?

Even though you didnt die,
from the prescription pills that filled your mouth,
this realationship will always be a lie,
was the desperation that high for you,
to try to take your own life,
nothing will ever be the same,
and darling mother you made it that way.