I Wish

so, here we are. you're glued to the bed,
suffocating yourself with a pillow, and i'm
watching while you fall apart bit by bit. you
cry. i comfort. the action repeats daily. i keep
my hope even though there's nothing to hope
for except escape. i won't give up on you. i can't.
you never gave up on me when i was locked in a
pill pushing prison; lost, drained and miserable,
and here you are in the same position. you're
pushing everyone away, and you say that the therapy
isn't helping. you say no one cares. you wish you were dead.

i wish you could see that you're stamping me out like a cigarette.
i wish that i could help, but i see that i'm just a useless piece of shit.
i'll still listen to you berate yourself, and i will still put my heart in my words.
i know things won't get better, but i really want them to.
i just want you to hold me, but i'm the one holding you.

you will get better if you actually try, but you say nothing's worth it anymore.

what about me? what about me?