Why Am I Still Running To You?

Time is running out.
Yet I'm still running to you.
I know that we are suppose to be through.
Yet why am I this magnet to pain?
Why do I constantly put myself here?
By your side?
It's not where I belong.
It's not where I want to be.
Still I'm here.
And slowly, I know, it's killing me.
I want to be like them.
I envy them.
I want what they have.
They have peace.
They have security.
And I don't.
Why can't I have that?
Every time I think I've got it, I find myself here again.
Every time I think I've finally let go, I find hold of it again.
It won't leave.
And I won't let it.
I want it.
I need it.
But I have to let it go.
It calls me.
Every night.
Every day.
It drives me mad until finally I accept it again!
What am I to do?
I'm told I can go somewhere.
I'm told I can solve this.
I want to.
I need to.
But I can't.
It wont' leave.
You won't leave.
YOU are my problem.
YOU are the one to blame for my misery, for my suffering!
YOU are the one that needs to leave!
Go!
Flee!
Run!
...
Why aren't you leaving?
Why aren't you fleeing?
Why are you still here!
Help me!
Please!
Someone!
Help!
Help..!
Help...!
Help...
Help.......
....
No one hears me.
No one listens.
No one cares.
I envy them.
They have hope.
They are cared for.
I'm alone.
I'm stuck.
They try to tell me I can have this too.
But they just don't understand my problem!
They don't get it!
They think they do.
But they aren't me!
You don't call to them!
Why!
Go bother someone else!
Leave me be!
Leave me alone to wallow in my own misery.
I'm alone.
I always am.
I always will be.
I'm fighting with the shadows in my own head.
The demons don't exist.
They are imaginary.
Figmintation.
Fantasy.
So why do they seem so real?
Why do the hurt?
Bite and nip?
Rip open flesh again and again?
The pain stabs me.
I'm alone.
I'm alone with the shadows in my head and the demons that prey on my flesh.
I'm alone, but YOU are here.
YOU are always here.
Why are you here?
I hate you.
I hate you.
I .. hate.. you.
I.... hate... you...
Right?
You are one of them.
You aren't good.
You are evil.
Why can't I reach what the others have?
Why can't I have that peace?
YOU don't offer it.
YOU only bring pain.

So why am I still running to you?
♠ ♠ ♠
Just a little something I wrote! :)

I am very proud of this one.