I almost killed myself last week

Last week I sat on the tracks
Waiting for the train
I felt I didn't belong here
I felt I had no purpose

So I sat there waiting
clearing my thoughts
hoping,just hoping
I wouldn't chicken out

I only thought of sorrow
and how I don't belong
How I hate myself
and I deserve to die

I shut off my phone
wanting no distractions
Just wanted to wait
for the death I deserved

I heard something in the distance
I knew it was a train
Still I just waited
for split second feeling pain

As it got closer
for me to see
I shut my eyes
and started to cry

I don't want this I thought
I don't need this I said
But I deserve this
Said the twisted voice in my head

I didn't want death
I felt this could change
at the last split moment
I jumped off the tracks

The train missing me by inches.............

I realized something that day
That death isnt an aswer
I could of ended all my pain right there and then

But thats life
Pain,hurt,despair.
It'll never change
We all know that

So after I got of the train tracks I realized why I didn't do it
I didn't do it because I knew someone in this world loves me
That what I was doing was selfish
I could've hurt all the ones I loved that loved me too

Before you try to commit suicide
Think!!
Whether it's bulling,or abuse
That doesn't change the love people have for you

So just stop and think
we do all have meaning
Its just some of us
don't realize it

Someone loves us
its just we cant see it

Don't ever let heart break,bulling,low-self-esteem,depression, or the voices in our head tell us any different.

I didn't do it. I don't call myself a chicken or loser because I didn't follow through
I call myself a semi-survivor because I choose to keep my life
Not through it away over over-whelming emotions
and abuse being put to the side

I have been a victim
I told
I'm getting help
You deserve it too

But I can't help you
Only YOU have the power to stop whats going on
So.................go stop it