Fading Away Was Never An Option

I did it again.
I popped another little white pill, and felt alright.
My vision got a little blurred, and my mind a bit drowsy.
But it took away my focous for a little bit.
I didn't have to think about you, and everything you're doing to me.
Because god, I wish there was a little white pill to cure a broken heart.
It hurts worse than broken bones.
Beacuse bones can mend, but hearts once torn never reform the same.
I know that once you're through with me, these three tabs of vicodin won't be enough to get me through.
Neither will my pretty little razor or my aching veins, calling his name.
Vodka shots and bowl packs, won't be able to mask the feeling no one wants to feels.
Words, no matter how beautiful, will not erase the ink you stabbed into my chest to slowly posion me.
Because I know if this happens for the seventh time in this five year period, I won't be able to find another way to dull the pain.
All my vices have gone dry with power, no more healing tears.
You were my drug that kept the hurt away.
But when you walk willingly into the shadows, there will be nothing left to save me.
I will burn out in the firelight, fading away never being an option.