You're Still in Front

I really find it funny how one word can sum up howI feel.
and at first it doesnt even seem it could be real.
This past few weeks feel like a carousel,
The same direction, same music and it feels like I'm heading straight to hell.
I wish you would open your eyes,
And maybe over look the past and some tiny white lies.
This feeling makes me sick,
because as you know in a room of a million you're still the only one I would pick.
Without you I feel weak,
so weak I'll never quite reach my peak.
Devotion and desire maybe the only two things,
Keeping myself from jumping in the fire.
I wish to be locked away,
Possibly forever and a day.
This heart can take alot i've learned,
I'll never lose the feelings for the person I once yearned.
Theres only so much I can do ,
I dont think I could go on without you.
But I feel stuck in time looking for what I had to find,
maybe its quite possible I've lost my mind.
well its true this love has taken it's toll,
a part inside of me is void now, an empty hole.
I never thought I'd feel this way; hurt, bruised, scattered
like a flag in the wind, scarred and tattered.
things dont look the same through this camera lens,
we were once much more now we're barely friends.
I miss the long night filled with happy conversation,
now its dark cold nights filled with thoughts of self mutilation.
so this maybe me being a bit to blunt, but
if I made of line of people I've loved baby
you're still in front....