Connect The Dots
Who am I?
A question I get asked a million times a day
By faces that blur together in my mind
By a jumble of lips
Moving soundlessly
By a pile of ears
Receiving the simple answer
To that question
All I have to do
Is spit out a name
A school
A grade
An achievement
And they’re satiated
They move onto the next face in the mob
But what about me?
Those blank pieces of information
Fluttering through the air
Don’t provide me with the same satisfaction
Who am I?
A sophomore
A girl
A girl on the honor roll
A girl who loves to write
All superficial dots
Connect them
Connect the dots
And you get me
You get an outline of me
An outline is all the outside world demands
It’s not all I demand
I want to know who I am
Inside and out
Not just my outer shell
But what’s inside
Sometimes, I’m afraid of what’s inside
Afraid of it being labeled as
Depression
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Or any of the other thousand disorders that only mean one thing
That are only a label
To declare that someone is different
I was taught
Not to be different
And yet..still stand out
To blend in
While being unique
I have never mastered this art
When I speak out and announce myself
It’s too much
When I shut my mouth and keep my head down
It’s too little
Yet, I still continue to search for the answers
Search for a balance
And as I spend my time searching
I don’t devote time to the activities
Of growing up
As I grow, the answers to the question
Of who I am
Change
I’m still a girl
Still on the honor roll
Still love writing
But now…I’m a senior
Now they want
A college
A career
I don’t have answers
I don’t know who I want to be
And thus..I do not know who
I am
According to them, that is
In order to stay rooted in the present..it is demanded that I predict my future
And so..my outline crumples.
The dots fade
The lines collapse
Nothing left to connect to
No shards of information
That let us profess to know someone
To hook onto
I am no longer a 2D outline
Searching for the answers hidden in the blank space
To make me 3D
Now I am a 1D mess
Searching
For the decisions that I have not
Made
Can you tell me who I am
And reconnect the dots for me?
A question I get asked a million times a day
By faces that blur together in my mind
By a jumble of lips
Moving soundlessly
By a pile of ears
Receiving the simple answer
To that question
All I have to do
Is spit out a name
A school
A grade
An achievement
And they’re satiated
They move onto the next face in the mob
But what about me?
Those blank pieces of information
Fluttering through the air
Don’t provide me with the same satisfaction
Who am I?
A sophomore
A girl
A girl on the honor roll
A girl who loves to write
All superficial dots
Connect them
Connect the dots
And you get me
You get an outline of me
An outline is all the outside world demands
It’s not all I demand
I want to know who I am
Inside and out
Not just my outer shell
But what’s inside
Sometimes, I’m afraid of what’s inside
Afraid of it being labeled as
Depression
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Or any of the other thousand disorders that only mean one thing
That are only a label
To declare that someone is different
I was taught
Not to be different
And yet..still stand out
To blend in
While being unique
I have never mastered this art
When I speak out and announce myself
It’s too much
When I shut my mouth and keep my head down
It’s too little
Yet, I still continue to search for the answers
Search for a balance
And as I spend my time searching
I don’t devote time to the activities
Of growing up
As I grow, the answers to the question
Of who I am
Change
I’m still a girl
Still on the honor roll
Still love writing
But now…I’m a senior
Now they want
A college
A career
I don’t have answers
I don’t know who I want to be
And thus..I do not know who
I am
According to them, that is
In order to stay rooted in the present..it is demanded that I predict my future
And so..my outline crumples.
The dots fade
The lines collapse
Nothing left to connect to
No shards of information
That let us profess to know someone
To hook onto
I am no longer a 2D outline
Searching for the answers hidden in the blank space
To make me 3D
Now I am a 1D mess
Searching
For the decisions that I have not
Made
Can you tell me who I am
And reconnect the dots for me?
♠ ♠ ♠
Comments are always appreciated.