You are my Butterfly.

You brought me into this world,
when you were young,
you didn't ask for me,
you didn't kill me,
you looked after me through the reactions.

Dad said he'd stay,
he didn't.

He got married behind your back,
then died of cancer later,
you were my world,
my only person,
who kept me alive in the hostel.

Cock roaches would scurry about,
you would cry, with OCD.
You'd get depressed,
it was like a soap.
You had to move in with N & G.

No money, no posessions,
only four people in the world to love,
my grandparents, my Nana,
and you.

You kept me safe in the crummy flats,
with break ins and fires at night,
we lived in the rough part of Crawley,
but you didn't let it hurt me.

It would get to you, sure.
But you wouldn't let it to me,
you protected me, shared the custody,
with your best friend,
single with a daughter of her own.

Then;
You could still be young and party,
but you'd always come back home.
You didn't take anything that could hurt me,
you wouldn't let your responsibilties slide.

You stayed with me as a toddler,
you played with me,
let me appreciate the good things in life,
we didn't have many posessions,
we didn't get to go out.
I didn't have a life like other kids,
but to me it was the only way.
I had you.

You juggled your life for me,
the first step for you was to marry,
You saw an oppurtunity,
of love and the countryside,
you saw a life for the both of us,
in the man I now call Dad.

I spent the next few years missing Crawley,
and Sophie, your best friend's young daughter,
my own best friend.

I missed my Nanny and Grandad,
Nana wasn't alive anymore.
I didn't like it until I grew older,
all of the moving around here in Shaftesbury,
all of the houses, the new smells and the sights.

But I went to a good school,
made friends for life,
gained a huge family who I love,
I found God and more.

A church I think of as home,
not strict but Christian,
with an electirc band and dancing,
and over a hundred people attending,
no pews, a pastor and faith.
My new family helped me with this.

Through the times of bullying you were there for me,
you could be very scary,
if others were hurting me.

A teacher in Year Five made me tremble,
I pretended to be ill.
Not like most children, but for weeks,
I cried when I had to go to school.

The teacher bullied us all,
years later he eventually got fired.
You saw to helping with that.

I had long left, to another school.
It wasn't as good as the other school,
but I made more friends for life,
it was fine.

And all possible because of you.

Now I am in Year 11,
I'm taking my GCSE's this year.
Through all teenage hardships you've helped me,
weren't afraid to teach me,
about periods and boys and friends,
but not in a patronising way,
as if you were a friend.

We've always had a special bond,
we have the same firey temper and we do,
we fight, we scream, we don't talk for days.
But always, we apoligise and laugh,
my friends love you.

You let me go out, you let me have fun,
you trust me.

Because you've raised me in a way,
that show me the bad things in life.
That warns me and that keeps me sensible,
I have freedom, you are pleased as long as I work hard,
you push me just enough.

You are a young, pretty and crazy Mum.
My friends adore you, and so do I.

We have those girly nights,
we giggle,
we have fun,
we watch East enders and Holby,
we do puzzles in your books, eat mints and we chat,
we giggle like mad with the things we come up with.

You're like my best friend,
my role model, my Mum.
You're everything to me,
all wrapped up in one.

We still don't have much money,
we can't afford a big garden,
laptops and fancy T.Vs and the new gismos,
like iphones and posh sofas and toys,
not even for my little sisters.

Because you have such severe asthma,
that you've actually been classified as disabled,
you're anaemic and diabetic,
all of these illnesses have developed from your asthma.
You need rests, you get tired and crabby.

I need to help you, by babysitting,
every day they scream and fight,
they tire you out.
I wash up every day for five people,
I do the washing, I hoover and I try to help.

I know how much you do for us,
so much more, and I know I complain.

I may seem ungrateful, but I am ever so grateful to you.

There is not a single secret I can keep from you,
even if I try, you see through,
and even the words I so often tell you;
I love you.
don't seem enough.

Because you are my Butterfly.

This is me saying thank you.

To me you are beautiful,
to me you give wings,
to me you are everything,
it is me you look after and love,
but you let me fly.

You are my Butterfly.