I Miss You All...

Texting you is never the same.
Every night I wake up, cursing your name.
Why did everything change?
It was because I've acted strange.

I suffer from ADD...
That's something that bothers me.
OCD, ADHD, & PTSD.
Yeah, that as well is hard to see.

I suffer from alot.
I tried killing myself but couldn't get off the shot.
Forgot that the safety was locked.
My 3rd attempt at suicide was botched.

That all happened at the age of 13.
I was in 8th Grade & everyone was mean.
They didn't understand me.
So I wanted to die but it couldn't be.

Then I met you...
Didn't know you would leave me soon.
10 Best Friends I all lost.
I did nothing so why was I the one cost?

You all were such great friends...
I told you everything so why did it end?
I trusted you with everything I have.
Then in my back, you place your stab.

Only one girl has heard those three words.
"I Love You" to my very first.
A Girlfriend I will always love.
An angel I can't let go, sent from above.

I hang on to you tight.
When this world wants me dead, you show me the light.
With you, I feel no fright...
Sadly, I'll never hold you through the night.

I miss you alot, now with somebody else,
You found love. I can't forgive myself.
I let everyone down.
Maybe it'll be better if I'm not around.

I write poetry, for my Mibbers,
That they read something satisfying their peepers.
I try to live with myself...
But I can't when I love you... I need help.

No one can help me with what I have.
I stand alone, lost, needing a map.
People in this world don't give a crap.
I feel so stupid & like a sap.

I trusted everyone who turned to hurt me.
Then you came along... To Flirt with me.
I never thought it would be...
That with you... I'd be happy.

This poem I meant to be long.
To say words I know are strong.
It hurts, that much is true.
No matter what, I still love you.

I will love you through the days.
Where I don't wanna live through this smoky haze.
Clouding my mind & all my thoughts.
With you, I feel like I'm at a loss.

I was the happiest I ever was with you.
You know the funniest thing you do?
You make me forget about everybody else.
With all I've been through, that really helps.

10 Friends Lost, a great one gained...
I love you so much but now I'm in pain.
You & I never will be.
I want to so badly... But you'll never see.

As for the rest I don't miss you all...
At least anymore, since the fall.
You weren't there to catch me...
So maybe I'll die to end the saddening.

I'm sad to lose so many "great" friends.
I lose them on the road in the curves & Bends.
I miss you all & then I don't...
When I try fixing it... You Won't.

You leave me out, hung to dry.
Like I'm a bad person so To Hell, I fry.
I know I am going to hell.
My sins are unforgivable, so oh well.

I ask why did God Make me this way?
He never answers no matter how much I pray.
He takes all that I love away...
I will now never be okay.

I stand here, remaining loveless.
Feeling Cold, empty, dare I say... Bloodless...
I have Ice In My Veins... Tears in my eyes.
I do things now that aren't very wise.

I despise myself for all I've done.
The People who beat me down already won.
Since I was in the 7th Grade...
People Keep hurting me every day.

So why do I care about just one girl?
...She's the most amazing person in my world.
I will never again be loved.
After all I've suffered, I've had enough.