8th Grade

Wake up in the morning, feel like shit.
Eyes groggy as I sit.
Get dressed slowly, painful to dress.
I look at myself in the mirror, what a mess.
Hair strewn about from the endless nightmare,
Pale skin from the anorexia.
No one knows, no one cares.
Blow my brains out to share.
Go to school, walk in the dark.
Endless black, see the dark.
See friends, wish them dead.
Jealous to the fucking end.
They smile and say hello.
I wanna fucking make you hollow.
Smash you dead, kill you with hate.
I’ll give you a glare and close our gate.
Walk away, legs giving out.
Bell rings, feel the painful shout.
Sit in the chair of depression,
Sit there and feel the god damn aggression.
Stare at the teacher, want them dead.
Never shout, never said.
Waste away while she makes fun,
I swear to hell I’m fucking done.
Want to burn you alive, hear you scream.
Laugh it off, have a good dream.
Rachel the bitch, Rachel the demon of hell.
I want to drown you and I won’t tell.
See my favorite teacher go on with the lesson,
Feel my heart sink into the depression.
Feel worthless, my favorite word of all,
I will hold the cold death as I walk the hall.
All those stares, all those glares,
Go fucking kill yourself, catch the snare.
Want to rip off your head,
Bury you dead with arm stead.
Go home, it hurts, oh god it hurts.
Want to collapse onto the pavement it hurts.
Legs shaking, I can’t hold on any longer.
Walk through my door and sleep a deep slumber.
Dream of death, dream of Grim Reaper.
Please take me away, I am a good sleeper.
Never want to wake up, drink the toxins.
Under the sink, drink it all away.
Feel the burn and die anyway.
Shoot myself in the head,
Or maybe suffocate myself instead.
I hate my life, I hate myself.
I want you to end yourself.
Slash my friends away, they’re all I got,
I’ll stab them to death with eyes red hot.
I want to die today, die tomorrow.
Die every day and feel the sorrow.
No one gets me, I’m insane.
Take the blade to my wrists today.
Night is my only protection,
It is my time of resurrection.
The night soothes my heart,
Day burns away the flesh from the start.
Don’t you understand?
I want to hurt myself to the highest end.
I want to hear myself scream aloud,
Then cry without a sound.
So many tears shed in one year,
No one I can hold dear.
Even my best friend gives up on me,
They failed and now I can’t see.
Falling into the darkness, into the floor.
Now I can walk at death’s door.
Say hello and be one of the dead.
But I’m still alive, or is it in my head?