What happens when you don't pay attention

Shaking Hands
Blistering heat
Life at lost
From one to the other
I race, Racing to the end
To the end of pain
To the end of useless niceties
To the end of Cold and bitter frost.

I wonder what you think of me
I wonder when it'll become easier
I've never cared about others
Until I met you
I need to know what I'll be in the future
I need to know when will be the next time we meet.

I'll meet you at the finish line
But when will that be?
How far away is it?
How fast does time pass here?
Where are we even?
And when are we leaving?

I feel that if I think about you,
You will know.
If I talk to you,
You won't hear.
If I hold you,
You won't feel.
So I hold myself in hopes of it feeling the same.
It doesn't.

I miss the way we talked
And the way you smiled.
But now you only smirk.
And I only yell.
My dear, You've changed!

........How can you tell?