Today's going to be a good day
Today's going to be a good day
The best day a person like me can ever ask for
Today was the day
The day Daddy doesn't beat me
Today he's gonna go back to the way he was before.
-Before Mommy left for another man
-Another life
-Before the Bitch in the Bottle entered his life.
-Before anger was his only way to release
Everything will go back to when Daddy called me his shooting star
-Back to when Daddy just looked at me like I was the world and nothing could touch us.
-Back to when he would dress me up and take me out to dinner when Mommy had to "work late"
-Back to when he told me I could do anything I ever wanted
-Back to when he loved me.
I know it's going to happen today
I just have a feeling.
Today I wore the biggest and realest smile I've had in the past 8 years.
Today my ice blues melted and sparkled like a diamond
"Today's going to be a good day" was all told myself
I ran home from school excited to see my Heaven and not my Hell
Today... Today...
...
Today wasn't the day.
When I got home Daddy was pacing by the front door.
When I waltzed in, my happy day ended
It turned black and cold.
My hair was ripped,
I was thrown,
My head played ping pong between Daddy's fist, the wall, and the corners of the glass table
My eyes were blackened
-and blackened
-and blackened a little more.
My nose was gushing blood along with my temple
Why haven't I passed out like normal?
Oh right, Today isn't a normal day
I hoped and dreamed and prayed today
Something I did everyday but not to this extent
My ribs were kicked
Along with my throat and head.
"DADDY! PLEASE! DADDY IT'S ME! YOUR LITTLE GIRL! DADDY STOP! THAT HURTS!"
Why can't the neighbors hear me yelp and scream bloody murder?
Why don't they hear my pleads?
Why doesn't he?
When the beating was over I just lay in the dark with a shard of broken bottle glass in my hand
What will happen if I JAB it here, there, and on my veins?
What will happen if I cut in the same place over and over again?
Right when I'm about to fall asleep he storms in the room for more.
But it wasn't the beating he wanted.
It was the sex he wanted.
"DADDY! I'M YOUR BABY! DON'T DO THIS. OUCH! THAT HURTS. DON'T TOUCH ME THERE. PLEASE STOP. I'M BEGGING!"
"Shut the HELL up now you stupid bitch.
You deserve this.
Your nothing but a worthless piece of trash like your Mom."
I'm worthless
I deserve this.
Nothing more
Nothing less
When he finished he left me to tear myself apart
I didn't cry or murmur a sound
I just continued to cut
And at that moment
I ended 8 years of beating and rape
I ended my life to escape
It doesn't matter though
Because I'm worthless
But in the end today was a good day
Today I escaped his strangling fingers and entered another life.
The best day a person like me can ever ask for
Today was the day
The day Daddy doesn't beat me
Today he's gonna go back to the way he was before.
-Before Mommy left for another man
-Another life
-Before the Bitch in the Bottle entered his life.
-Before anger was his only way to release
Everything will go back to when Daddy called me his shooting star
-Back to when Daddy just looked at me like I was the world and nothing could touch us.
-Back to when he would dress me up and take me out to dinner when Mommy had to "work late"
-Back to when he told me I could do anything I ever wanted
-Back to when he loved me.
I know it's going to happen today
I just have a feeling.
Today I wore the biggest and realest smile I've had in the past 8 years.
Today my ice blues melted and sparkled like a diamond
"Today's going to be a good day" was all told myself
I ran home from school excited to see my Heaven and not my Hell
Today... Today...
...
Today wasn't the day.
When I got home Daddy was pacing by the front door.
When I waltzed in, my happy day ended
It turned black and cold.
My hair was ripped,
I was thrown,
My head played ping pong between Daddy's fist, the wall, and the corners of the glass table
My eyes were blackened
-and blackened
-and blackened a little more.
My nose was gushing blood along with my temple
Why haven't I passed out like normal?
Oh right, Today isn't a normal day
I hoped and dreamed and prayed today
Something I did everyday but not to this extent
My ribs were kicked
Along with my throat and head.
"DADDY! PLEASE! DADDY IT'S ME! YOUR LITTLE GIRL! DADDY STOP! THAT HURTS!"
Why can't the neighbors hear me yelp and scream bloody murder?
Why don't they hear my pleads?
Why doesn't he?
When the beating was over I just lay in the dark with a shard of broken bottle glass in my hand
What will happen if I JAB it here, there, and on my veins?
What will happen if I cut in the same place over and over again?
Right when I'm about to fall asleep he storms in the room for more.
But it wasn't the beating he wanted.
It was the sex he wanted.
"DADDY! I'M YOUR BABY! DON'T DO THIS. OUCH! THAT HURTS. DON'T TOUCH ME THERE. PLEASE STOP. I'M BEGGING!"
"Shut the HELL up now you stupid bitch.
You deserve this.
Your nothing but a worthless piece of trash like your Mom."
I'm worthless
I deserve this.
Nothing more
Nothing less
When he finished he left me to tear myself apart
I didn't cry or murmur a sound
I just continued to cut
And at that moment
I ended 8 years of beating and rape
I ended my life to escape
It doesn't matter though
Because I'm worthless
But in the end today was a good day
Today I escaped his strangling fingers and entered another life.