Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who is the fairest one of all?

It isn’t you, if you must know.
Your skin’s so red, it almost glows.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who has the prettiest face of all?

Not you, to tell the perfect truth.
Your eyes are too wide, and you’ve got a chipped tooth.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who is the slimmest girl of all?

Do I even have to answer that?
Your stomach bulges; your legs are fat.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who’s the most popular one of all?

Certainly not you, truth be told.
You have no friends, and you’re far from bold.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who is the smartest girl of all?

Not you; I hate to burst your bubble,
But your grades always get you in trouble.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Is there any reason for living at all?

Not for you, dear girl, there’s not.
On this fair earth, you’re an unwanted spot.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Would anyone notice if I fall?

To put it very plainly, no.
The world will be better when you go.

Mirror, mirror, thank you, dear.
I guess my time is finished here.

That’s the spirit, darling girl.
Do your part to better the world.

Mirror, mirror, behold my sin—
Your glass will never be pure again.

Bang.