Harder

Is there anything harder than this?
If you say yes,
It's difficult to believe.

It changed everything.
Changed me.
Changed everyone who knows.

Somehow I'm the one consoling.
When I should be the one to greive.
Selfless and selfish both inside of me.

They tried to wake me up
From this constant night I was pushed into.
But the sun never comes.

I can't climb out.
Wont let anyone in.
Can't shut away my thoughts.

My mind holds on to that memory.
It's all I see now,
The secret.

But I can't tell.
Who would I
If I could?

And I don't cry
I wont break down
I will be strong

I beg that things will change.
Maybe that face will mean nothing one day.
If I were so lucky.

They say I've changed,
No kidding.
What else is there to expect?

So tell me,
Is there something... anything
Harder than this?