If you really knew me

If you really knew me, you would know that nothing is perfect in my life that its far from it, that my life is a living hell most of the time

If you really knew me you would know that I don’t fit in anywhere at school and I don’t fit in my own family, you would know that my dad has been sick all of my life, that my mom didn’t accept me at times, or that’s how I feel

If you really knew me you would know that I guard myself that I don’t let anyone in, you would also know that I let one person in and I thought he cared but he destroyed me

You would know that I had a cutting problem and that I still do and that I think of suicide frequently, you would know that I hate myself that I can always find something wrong, you would know that I used to have an eating disorder…

If you really knew me you would know that no one has ever tried to really get to know me, that I really am nothing to a lot of people, you would know that I am depressed and sad and hurt

If you really knew me you would know that I used to be happy that I used to fall to easy and hurt so fast…

If you really knew me you would know that I have cried myself to sleep every night for a long time thinking that all of this isn’t worth all of the pain

If you really knew me you would know that no one really knows me