Bleed Like A Martyr

i.
Emotion.
That's the way it always starts.
I have too much;
Never enough.
Unlike your preconceptions
It is not just sadness
Or anger or hatred;
Happiness sets it off too,
Even love.
There is always too much feeling
In my heart and in
A million different nerve endings.
Bursting, choking, burning.
(Pull the trigger).

ii.
Bottles.
Hiding everything all away.
Phase two of descent.
Spiralling down down down.
Stuff all that spare emotion
Deep down,
Far away.
Keep pushing it down
More and more.
Just waiting for the glass to crack
To splinter, to shatter.
(Ticking time bomb)

iii.
Outburst.
At everyone
Every tiny little thing
Twisting inside your heart
After the emotions all came tumbling free.
Shouting 'til your throat is raw,
Screaming until your heart aches
And crying -
Cry until your eyes start bleeding.
(Everyone is out to get you)

iv.
Breakdown.
Fall to the floor
Shaking sobbing bleeding crying.
Twisting aimlessly.
Gibberish.
You think you're going to die,
Breathing racing
Heart breaking?
Hurts.
Going to die.
Die die die.
(Bleed like a fucking martyr)