She Is Not Me

She laughed loudly in the dark October’s night.
She told me of her recent drunken nights and silly fights with her boyfriend.
We lay under the stars I had not seen in so long.
I stared up at the moon that lit up the whole sky.
I spoke softly “I forgot how beautiful it all was”
She smiled “We take it for granted”

I wished at that moment, she could see what we see.
Exactly what she was and not what others wanted her to be.
She is not perfect, she is not a movie star.
Her beauty though, can be recognised from a far.
She told me she isn’t comfortable in her own skin.
I said “Yeah but girl real beauty comes from within”

It’s not good to cut beautiful skin, in fact it’s a sin.
I take the things she says so seriously, though my feelings aren’t strong.
I long to be loved by her, I long to be wanted.
I long for it even if it is wrong.
I don’t want her and probably don’t love her.
But the whole word shines above her.

She knows not what she says when she is insecure.
She doesn’t see that I want to be her.
She knows not what she says when she jokes about us, in her “what if” mentality.
I know what love is and it is not her.
The longing to know though, is enough to make one mad.
I wish she wasn’t so depressed and I wish she wasn’t sad.

I realise that is why she is a want.
She is everything I am not, she is my opposite.
I was the darkest night and she was the glowing light.