For Jimmy

Your eyes
pull and twist me.
My heart
it sings praises like a bird,
keen on your songs.

Your beats,
Pulsing,
Maddening,
Crescendo-like in my veins.
It’s invigorating,
the combination of music and love.
All of it yours.
Breathing catches,
stunningly so,
in rapt appreciation of you.
Hypnotized by bright blue eyes.
Eyes crystalline, like the ocean.

Inhale…
sinking into feeling
for the first time.
Experience..intoxicating,
like a drug
that I yearn and plead for.
Beautiful smile of mine,
makes me feel beautiful.
Like self worth
for the gift you have given.

But tragedy is inevitable.
Gorgeous blues simmer
Until all light is gone.
Halts of your beats impale my heart
with the woe of loss and
unbearable anguish.
There is a force,
Pushing…
Fucking PUSHING ME DOWN.
My life has been stolen,
Like that first time
Before there was you.

Questions arise,
so many that my skull
trembles and fragments
For I am nothing
without you.

You should be here.
Playing your music.
Your eyes,
Beautiful and blue
glowing like
always.
You should be here.
So why are you not?