Realization

All my mistake are written in ink.
Ink is permanent.
All my mistakes of
Not walking up to him.
Of not talking to him.
Of only texting.
Of caving in!
Why does he make me so weak?
Why?!
Does he realize he drives me crazy?
No.
Does he realize I am always waiting.
Not likely.
Does he realize everything he types makes me smile.
The people around me know who I am talking to.
He does not realize how I excited I get when I see someone with
Red shoes, Or even curly brown hair on a tall person.
He does not realize how shaky he makes me
How much his voice affects me.
He has to feel it.
Or why would he wait?
Always text back?
Always look at me?
Does he look at me?
Or is it my imagination,
Playing tricks on me once again.
I don’t think he does.
Realize that is.