Hidden Thoughts

I wrote this one last year when I was going through a really rough time, but thanks to my friends, I've gotten better and no longer have to think this way, I know I have a purpose in this world, it's just a matter of finding it out. So to reflect on the past, I give you Hidden Thoughts:

A feather floats in the wind
Thoughts wonder and collect in my head
I think about the things she's said

Sometimes I wonder
What would happen if I disappeared
What would they say?
Or would half of them even care?

There's so many flaws about me
I'm too fat
I think too much
I'm so quiet
My smile's not perfect
So much more that it'd take forever to list
But there's no cuts on my wrists

I keep all the pain and anger bundled up inside
Let the emotions run and hide
And even though I never cried
It doesn't mean that I'm as happy as I appear

So I ask myself
How would the world be
If I had never been born?

I look at my sisters and see how they've turned out so far
They don't know that I hate myself at times
And I try so hard to be there for them when they need me
I hope that they never feel this way

That they never hate looking in the mirror
Never hear all the hurtful things that I hear at school
Are never fooled by the fake people in this world
Never constantly worry about a friend
Never care so much about someone but are too afraid to show it
That they never think the things that I do

Tell me
If you were to find this ten years from now
What would you think of me?
Would you find it pathetic?
Or would you find it depressing
That a girl so young
Wrote this straight from the heart?

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Like I said, my friends have been a big help ever since I wrote this. I'm not suicidal or depressed, I promise you that.