Long Sleeves

sitting in my room
alone
at night
i need someone to save me
from myself

it hurts bad-
the pain i feel
inside,
i have to let it out
somehow...

there's a razor
it's right there
i can't resist...

blood swells from
the little cuts
but
i'm being shy,
not going deep,
not making them long...

stunned
i put the razor down
and stop
for the night...

but the next day
i hunger for more
it's all i can think about
i want it,
to be alone...
to see the blood...
to feel even more pain
than i did
before...

it's night
i'm home
in my room
alone...

i grab the razor,
my best friend,
and cut deeper...
cut longer...

4 new slash marks
1 on my wrist
a long one on my arm
2 deep slashes around it
scarlet on fishbelly white...

ahhh....
much better....
the blood oozes down
all around my arm
reminding me
that i'm alive

they hurt
but
i dont mind...
actually
i like it
so
i grab
the alcohol
and pour it over them
oh man...
so good....

i know i have
to stop
so
i clean up...

but somehow...
in the process...
i ended up
staining my sleeve...
blood red...