Choking Your Love Down.

I am obsessed
I'm left choking your love down
Like my last meal
And you approve
I'm finally, almost good enough for you
But that's still not good enough
Is it?

You look at me
I'm fat, I'm ugly,I'm stupid
I'm bruised
Inside and out
I am bruised
I hate this!
I punch myself in the stomach over and over
Hunger is eating ME alive
But no
I'm still not good enough for you
You bastard
I put the fucking Himalayans on my back for you
I thought I loved you

And now, I'm left choking our love down like my last meal
And I can't purge
Even thought I want to
Because
The last time my daddy told me I was beautiful
My head was in the toilet bowl
Tears in my sky eyes
As I threw up my soul
And simply washed it away

So what now?
I'm so obsessed
This test, my self control
You control
My body but you will not control me

So I hope I choke on your love
You force feed down my throat
The only thing I'm allowed to eat
And I hope I choke
Because choking down your love
Is better than swallowing it