2. Jesus of Candyland
I. Jesus Of Candyland
I'm the son of rot and plaque
The Jesus of Candyland
From the cookbook of,
'You shouldn't eat this stuff.'
On a fatty diet of
Chocolate, sweets and cupcakes
No one ever died from rotten teeth
As far as I can see
At least the ones who brushed them regulary
But theres nothing wrong with sweets
This is how I wanna eat
Even if Candyland is make believe
It doesn't fool me.
Go ahead if you dare
Sit upon the dentist's chair
The dreaded room
I'll be headin' there soon
Could be tomorrow, could be today
To fall in love and fall in debt
To chewing gum and chocolate
There's so many to pick
I usually get a mix
And then I end up feeling sick
But there's nothing wrong with sweets
This is how I wanna eat
Even if Candyland is make believe
It doesn't fool me
II. City Of Skittles
There's this incredible sweet
You can buy at the store
Go anywhere, you'll just keep askin' for more
But the logo was just a lie
It says,'Taste The Rainbow'
But what a shame
How'd you know a rainbow would taste the same!?
It could just taste like lime
City of the Skittles
Thrown into another empty packet
Try the sour ones if you dare
City of the skittles
Hyper children running into traffic
Do the dentists really care?
I read the ingredients written on the pack
Yeah, I actually care to check what's on the back
It was all in a big long list
There wasn't really much
But it only confirmed
That they're made on the other side of the world
They're so tasty I can't resist!
City of the Skittles
Thrown into another empty packet
Try the sour ones if you dare
City of the Skittles
Hyper children running into traffic
Do the dentists really care?
III. I Don't Care
I don't care if you hate
I don't care if you hate
I don't care if you hate Skittles [x4]
I DON'T CAAAAAARE!!!
Everyone breath a sigh of relief
'Cause Skittles won't rot your teeth
But obviously the dentists say
That they will cause tooth decay
We are the kids who don't care about teeth
From the dentists chair we eat more sweets
We are the followers and worshipers of
The Jesus Of Candyland
Candyland is make believe
And it don't fool me
Candyland is make believe
And it don't fool me
I don't care! (Sweets, sweets, sweets) [x5]
IV. Dearly Tooth Rotters
Dearly tooth rotters, are you listening?
Do you remember a word that the dentists were saying?
Are we retarded?
Do you just love rotting teeth?
Common sense's got the better of us, there's no more belief.
(Oooooo...)
Oh dentist, can you please fix my teeth?
I'm a Dentalfloss idiot
And now you're just overjoyed
Nobody's teeth are perfect and I stand accused
There's no way to resist, it's the fault of my sweet tooth
(Oooooo...)
V. Tales Of Another Broken Tooth
To eat, but still break
And dying, from tooth decay
To run, away from the dentist
To find, a better one
And I, leave behind
These sweets that are piled high
I lost, my teeth to this
This Candyland, that don't exist
So I run, I run away
From the long ingredients list
And I, leave behind
These sweets that are piled high
And I've always gone back
Two million and two fuckin' times
But not this time!
Even if I feel pain, I won't squirm and cry
There's no other dentists where I can go
Hanging my head in shame when my teeth rot and die
Tales from another broken...
Tooth!
This broken...
My broken...
My broken...
Oh my broken tooth!
I'm the son of rot and plaque
The Jesus of Candyland
From the cookbook of,
'You shouldn't eat this stuff.'
On a fatty diet of
Chocolate, sweets and cupcakes
No one ever died from rotten teeth
As far as I can see
At least the ones who brushed them regulary
But theres nothing wrong with sweets
This is how I wanna eat
Even if Candyland is make believe
It doesn't fool me.
Go ahead if you dare
Sit upon the dentist's chair
The dreaded room
I'll be headin' there soon
Could be tomorrow, could be today
To fall in love and fall in debt
To chewing gum and chocolate
There's so many to pick
I usually get a mix
And then I end up feeling sick
But there's nothing wrong with sweets
This is how I wanna eat
Even if Candyland is make believe
It doesn't fool me
II. City Of Skittles
There's this incredible sweet
You can buy at the store
Go anywhere, you'll just keep askin' for more
But the logo was just a lie
It says,'Taste The Rainbow'
But what a shame
How'd you know a rainbow would taste the same!?
It could just taste like lime
City of the Skittles
Thrown into another empty packet
Try the sour ones if you dare
City of the skittles
Hyper children running into traffic
Do the dentists really care?
I read the ingredients written on the pack
Yeah, I actually care to check what's on the back
It was all in a big long list
There wasn't really much
But it only confirmed
That they're made on the other side of the world
They're so tasty I can't resist!
City of the Skittles
Thrown into another empty packet
Try the sour ones if you dare
City of the Skittles
Hyper children running into traffic
Do the dentists really care?
III. I Don't Care
I don't care if you hate
I don't care if you hate
I don't care if you hate Skittles [x4]
I DON'T CAAAAAARE!!!
Everyone breath a sigh of relief
'Cause Skittles won't rot your teeth
But obviously the dentists say
That they will cause tooth decay
We are the kids who don't care about teeth
From the dentists chair we eat more sweets
We are the followers and worshipers of
The Jesus Of Candyland
Candyland is make believe
And it don't fool me
Candyland is make believe
And it don't fool me
I don't care! (Sweets, sweets, sweets) [x5]
IV. Dearly Tooth Rotters
Dearly tooth rotters, are you listening?
Do you remember a word that the dentists were saying?
Are we retarded?
Do you just love rotting teeth?
Common sense's got the better of us, there's no more belief.
(Oooooo...)
Oh dentist, can you please fix my teeth?
I'm a Dentalfloss idiot
And now you're just overjoyed
Nobody's teeth are perfect and I stand accused
There's no way to resist, it's the fault of my sweet tooth
(Oooooo...)
V. Tales Of Another Broken Tooth
To eat, but still break
And dying, from tooth decay
To run, away from the dentist
To find, a better one
And I, leave behind
These sweets that are piled high
I lost, my teeth to this
This Candyland, that don't exist
So I run, I run away
From the long ingredients list
And I, leave behind
These sweets that are piled high
And I've always gone back
Two million and two fuckin' times
But not this time!
Even if I feel pain, I won't squirm and cry
There's no other dentists where I can go
Hanging my head in shame when my teeth rot and die
Tales from another broken...
Tooth!
This broken...
My broken...
My broken...
Oh my broken tooth!
♠ ♠ ♠
Second set of lyrics in my installment of 'Dentalfloss Idiot'. (Spin-off of American Idot, where I have changed the lyrics to be about dentists, sweets, teeth etc.) Enjoy haha!