A Coward's Escape
Footsteps behind me
Make my fingers tremble in their sheath.
An answer is what he seeks,
One that I am not free to give,
For it is my heart he begs to own
And my soul he wants to take.
A scene recalled from long ago.
Then it was defiance and love,
Instead of duty and honour,
That made me take the hand
Offered to me
The words on his lips
Are haunting and familiar.
He wants to know my mind, he says,
And if I have given thought
To whether I would sell him
My most valuable possessions.
A scene recalled from long ago.
A poor boy, he was, my brave lad
But gorgeous, kind, and soft
As the kiss of morning sun
In the mountains
His impatience grows
When I do not respond to his question.
He demands to know why I resist,
Knowing, as I do, that he may be
My last chance for a life
With the son he did not give
A scene recalled from long ago.
I cried when he walked away,
The early-morning stars reflected
In the cold, polished metal
Of our only fighting hope
I force open my mouth
To give him the answer I have prepared.
Denial is what I expect to utter,
But I find my lips forming
Words of their own accord,
That I promised I should never say
A scene recalled from long ago.
Eight eternal months after the stars and I
Bid my brave lad a desperate farewell,
A knock on the door brings ecstasy,
Only for me to have my heart destroyed.
His surprise can be heard
In the words he speaks next.
The rushing in my ears
Allows none of the celebration
Of my beloved family to be heard,
Nor to melt the ice that has crept into my blood.
A scene recalled from long ago.
After days of toil and terror and pain,
A newborn babe is mine to hold.
And in his eyes I see the light
That once belonged to my brave lad
Before even I fully know
What my true intentions are,
I lift the layers of my heavy anchor,
And run toward the setting sun,
Without second thought of consequence
To hold me to this mortal coil.
A scene recalled from long ago.
A breathless meeting in dark of night,
When no star betrayed our secret.
A whispered question close to my ear,
And a promise made to follow him.
Make my fingers tremble in their sheath.
An answer is what he seeks,
One that I am not free to give,
For it is my heart he begs to own
And my soul he wants to take.
A scene recalled from long ago.
Then it was defiance and love,
Instead of duty and honour,
That made me take the hand
Offered to me
The words on his lips
Are haunting and familiar.
He wants to know my mind, he says,
And if I have given thought
To whether I would sell him
My most valuable possessions.
A scene recalled from long ago.
A poor boy, he was, my brave lad
But gorgeous, kind, and soft
As the kiss of morning sun
In the mountains
His impatience grows
When I do not respond to his question.
He demands to know why I resist,
Knowing, as I do, that he may be
My last chance for a life
With the son he did not give
A scene recalled from long ago.
I cried when he walked away,
The early-morning stars reflected
In the cold, polished metal
Of our only fighting hope
I force open my mouth
To give him the answer I have prepared.
Denial is what I expect to utter,
But I find my lips forming
Words of their own accord,
That I promised I should never say
A scene recalled from long ago.
Eight eternal months after the stars and I
Bid my brave lad a desperate farewell,
A knock on the door brings ecstasy,
Only for me to have my heart destroyed.
His surprise can be heard
In the words he speaks next.
The rushing in my ears
Allows none of the celebration
Of my beloved family to be heard,
Nor to melt the ice that has crept into my blood.
A scene recalled from long ago.
After days of toil and terror and pain,
A newborn babe is mine to hold.
And in his eyes I see the light
That once belonged to my brave lad
Before even I fully know
What my true intentions are,
I lift the layers of my heavy anchor,
And run toward the setting sun,
Without second thought of consequence
To hold me to this mortal coil.
A scene recalled from long ago.
A breathless meeting in dark of night,
When no star betrayed our secret.
A whispered question close to my ear,
And a promise made to follow him.