from sand to glass

I honestly feel like my life is slipping, like tiny grains of sand through my fingers, and showering down on my feet like shards of glass. The problem is I don't know how to stop the sand from slipping away, or how to move my feet from the path of the glass. I’m so ready to throw it all away. So ready to give up, yet just as ready to leave everything behind and start anew. Isn’t it funny how I have two strong desires that are mirror opposites of one another? One is so simple and easy and inevitably bad for my everything. I want to just give up but I’m terrified to. Terrified of being stuck here. Forever. The latter option is so very difficult and totally different but would be the best thing for me in the end. Yet I’m terrified to leave everything behind me temporary as it may be. So here I am, stuck walking up a down escalator. Riding a stationary bike. Watching the sand slip away and turn to slivers of glass against my bare feet. Too afraid to move even though I must and someday soon will.