Playing Pretend

Pretend, pretend, pretend
I've perfected it after all these years
Pretending is what I do best
Lie, Lie, Lie
You don;t know the half of it
You can't see past my poker face
I'm so used to playing pretend I don't know how to be real anymore
Pull on my puppet strings and direct me like a movie
I can be whoever you want me to be
I've lost myself somewhere along the way
You think I'm okay but I'm screaming on the inside
You think you see me smile but I don't even know what happiness is
I'm so stuck like a robot I can't even cry
Will this ever end?
Trust me I say
But I don't trust myself
I'm fine I instist
Yet the pills and razors still find their way into my hands
Who am I?
I'm almost afraid to find out