Trigger

Sometimes I just
Snap.
No reason, no
Care.
I beat, hit, scream, draw
Blood.
But it never inflicts
Others,
Only me.

I never have a trigger
Like others do. They have
Reasons.
Parents, siblings, grades,
Problems.
I have
Me.

I make myself
Hate
I make myself
Bleed
I just need that simple
Release
I get when that
Red
Line starts, then slowly goes
Numb.
Before a release much
Worse.

The screaming,
Smashing.
I just start
Crying
At the mirror,
Wondering
At the things I wish I could
Do,
Like let a little more blood
Fall,
Let a little more numbness
Settle,
Let those red splotches become
Puddles, and let myself fade
Away.

Because I,
Unlike
Others, don’t need a
Trigger
To die.