Control

Have you ever felt like you couldn't control anything in your life, like everything you did, didn't mean anything and that you couldn't fix anything and everything felt like it was just getting worse every second of the day. Like there is a person that holds everything in there hands like its nothing, all your feelings and everything you want in life, everything you could wish for in there hands and they make it seem so easy. They make life seem so much better and being with them is amazing. It makes everything go away for once. With everything they do, there smile to the words they say to you, make you so happy and at the same time they can hurt you with one word. They hold the ultimate power over you, the power to break you completely. And you give them that power hoping they won't. You trust them so much with everything you have. Hoping to spend the rest of your life with them. And just looking at there eyes makes you smile. You smile just looking at them and sometimes you don't even know why and then you get all blushing and turn away. Then sometimes your a fool cause you can't believe there with you. Then some how you always say the wrong thing and manage to mess it up. Maybe its just your insecurities or maybe its cuz this might actually be the first time you felt so amazing and so sure about someone you freak out that they might leave you, when in fact you have them fully. Or maybe you start to realize how imperfect you are with that person. And then you think to your self how can this person you think so highly of, how could they break your heart every second of the day without thinking twice? And all you seem like your doing is crying now a days and doing nothing, you let them break your heart and for what? nothing? To feel sad and alone at the end of the day, even when there still there with you. To feel like its all slipping away from you and you just stand there, feeling so out of control of everything including your life. And sometimes you even feel like you could move on, but you don't want to so bad, you hold on no matter what. You never wanna lose that feeling of love, it makes you feel like you have a reason to live and without it you feel like nothing.love is everything, and it kills many hearts.