Shattered Fear

I sit and watch
As the image crawls
Down the wall
Toward me
Coming to kill me
I wish I could go back
Back to a time when none of this mattered
When seeing a web was no big deal
When I didn't have to run under door ways
When I could sit in a room safely.
I watch as I make myself sick
And is convinced that there out to get me
Can’t sit in a room safely
Need to turn on every light
To walk down the hall
Panic over a picture
Can be chased by a book
Need to see a doctor!
How I wish that it all would leave me
That I could go back to a NORMAL fear.
I'm trapped
I can’t let go
They are all over the place
Tormented as I run though the house
Away from them
To get to my room
And break down
Hide myself in fear
Screaming and crying in
Terror
I check my bed
I checked it last night
And the night before that
Tonight I’ll check it again.
I know nothing will be there
But I have to
It’s almost an impulse
If I don’t I can’t sleep.
I wish for my old feelings
I can put up with the rest
But this on top of it all...
I just want my life back
Not to be in fear every moment
Of my pitifullife
I don't think that you can call this a life!
I wan't to not have the need to check every corner
Or shake every shirt that I put on
To not have my skin crawl
I wish with all my heart to feel
Safe again.