What Did I Do Wrong?
I'm an ant in a bee hive
Why can't I just run away?
Why can't you just die?
All these questions and so many more
You don't have to lie
You say love me
I do the same to you
But I know you're lying
I know this cause it's true
I want to run away
Get away from all the madness
But I don't how
A 12 year old like this
Call me names behind my back
Say I'm ugly and your not
You say that that you love me
But I know you do not
What have I done to you?
What have I said?
I don't want to offend you
Maybe it's all in my head
Kill me now
Oh please oh lord
Right when I turn my back
You call me a twenty dollar whore
Slit my wrists
It's time to die
I hold the knife above my chest
Ready to go to heaven and fly
But no it can't be!
I can't stop now
It will be a blessing
To be in the pit of hell
Please me
Don't be so scared
It's all I have left
In this horrible life
No no no
It's not right
Please don't
Drop the knife
It falls to the floor
And I start to cry
Then my dad walks in
And slaps me on the thigh
I wish this all weren't real
Just a really bad dream
I close my eyes real tight
But I know it's happening to me
God tell me why
What did I do
You are hurting me
But I can't hurt you
I run to my room
And lock the door
As fast as my hands can
The I lay down on the floor
I cry myself to sleep
And wake up at 2:00am
I look at my bruised self
Over and over again
I start going down the stairs
I'm very truly hungry
I don't know the last time I ate
I think it was Monday
I grab an apple
And sit on a chair
Looking hard
At the cold nasty stairs
My mother comes down
She frowns at me
What did I do now
Why is it always me
I ask whats wrong
And she yells at me
I got an F on my report card
God please kill me
I say I'm very sorry
I tried my very best
But you don't really care
You think I'm a little pest
After your done yelling
You slap me on the cheek
I run up to my room
And cry myself to sleep
I wake in the morning
I go get ready for school
I try my very best
Not to brake the rules
I wait at the bus stop
All the people staring at me
I'm pretty much a loner
But I'm kinda pretty
I glare at them and they look away
I smile to myself
Then I hear the bus come
I hear Kevin say go do it yourself
I stand and watch
Drew puts milk on the street
The bus runs over it
And some splatters on me
The boys say they're sorry
But I know they're not
I sigh and walk on the bus
My cheeks burning hot
I sit next to a window
Watch the cars go by
I look at all the people
To them I'm just a fly
We finally get to school
My sneakers squishing on the floor
Julia asks whats wrong
I say get away you whore
I know its not that nice
I feel mad at myself
But shes not my real friend
Without me all she has is herself
I walk away fast
And go to my locker
Chelsea laughs at me
I just want to bop her
I walk into class
Get into my seat
Branden sits next to me
He asks why do you smell like meat
I then realize
That the milk was sour
I look down at my desk
I really need a shower
I go through the day
All the way to lunch
I sit down at a table
And my mom didn't give me to much
She gave me a cracker
She gave me a pea
What can I do now
But eat lunch quietly
I make it through school
Nothing really new
I walk all the way home
And get the key outta my shoe
I walk inside
I lock the door
Not that I really care
I don't want to live anymore
I do my homework
Walk down the stairs
And go on the computer
I the only thing that really cares
I go on Quizilla
My home away from home
I go on my account
And start writing this poem
I listen to some music
And start to sing a song
I love that its by Greenday
Because my mom says its wrong
I write and sing till mom gets home
Then I hear dad come in
I can see he's drunk
My mom looks with disgust at him
Shes drunk too
I can tell
She says wheres my supper bitch
I wonder where is hell
I say I'm sorry I forgot
She doesn't care
She gives me a funny look
And runs up the stairs
I hear her puck
She goes to bed
As does dad
I bend my head
I walk outside
I wonder to myself
Why they want perfection
Why can't I go to hell
I start to cry
Shining tears then I hear a voice
I look up to see
My neighbor Joice
Hes a boy
His really names John
I feel that with him around
Nothing can go wrong
He kneels down and holds me tight
I hold him very close
I smile as I stop crying
Hes my medical dose
I smile
Hes smiles back
We know what to do
As he rubs my back
We walk into the ditch
Waiting for the moment
That oh so special time
We think of the times we've spent
Then we see it
The most awesome thing in the world
It is coming fast
I was so nervous I almost hurled
He saw that I was nervous
He squeezed my hand tight
The thing was getting close
We ran with all our might
We stopped
A few seconds before it came
He kissed me tenderly
Then it started to rain
We were still kissing
It seemed to take forever
We both felt the blow
We wouldn't have it any other way never ever
I was there for a few more seconds
Feeling all the pain
Both our faces gleaming
In the midnight rain
My eyesight started to turn black
It seemed to take so long
Just before I died
I said
"What Did I Do Wrong?"
Why can't I just run away?
Why can't you just die?
All these questions and so many more
You don't have to lie
You say love me
I do the same to you
But I know you're lying
I know this cause it's true
I want to run away
Get away from all the madness
But I don't how
A 12 year old like this
Call me names behind my back
Say I'm ugly and your not
You say that that you love me
But I know you do not
What have I done to you?
What have I said?
I don't want to offend you
Maybe it's all in my head
Kill me now
Oh please oh lord
Right when I turn my back
You call me a twenty dollar whore
Slit my wrists
It's time to die
I hold the knife above my chest
Ready to go to heaven and fly
But no it can't be!
I can't stop now
It will be a blessing
To be in the pit of hell
Please me
Don't be so scared
It's all I have left
In this horrible life
No no no
It's not right
Please don't
Drop the knife
It falls to the floor
And I start to cry
Then my dad walks in
And slaps me on the thigh
I wish this all weren't real
Just a really bad dream
I close my eyes real tight
But I know it's happening to me
God tell me why
What did I do
You are hurting me
But I can't hurt you
I run to my room
And lock the door
As fast as my hands can
The I lay down on the floor
I cry myself to sleep
And wake up at 2:00am
I look at my bruised self
Over and over again
I start going down the stairs
I'm very truly hungry
I don't know the last time I ate
I think it was Monday
I grab an apple
And sit on a chair
Looking hard
At the cold nasty stairs
My mother comes down
She frowns at me
What did I do now
Why is it always me
I ask whats wrong
And she yells at me
I got an F on my report card
God please kill me
I say I'm very sorry
I tried my very best
But you don't really care
You think I'm a little pest
After your done yelling
You slap me on the cheek
I run up to my room
And cry myself to sleep
I wake in the morning
I go get ready for school
I try my very best
Not to brake the rules
I wait at the bus stop
All the people staring at me
I'm pretty much a loner
But I'm kinda pretty
I glare at them and they look away
I smile to myself
Then I hear the bus come
I hear Kevin say go do it yourself
I stand and watch
Drew puts milk on the street
The bus runs over it
And some splatters on me
The boys say they're sorry
But I know they're not
I sigh and walk on the bus
My cheeks burning hot
I sit next to a window
Watch the cars go by
I look at all the people
To them I'm just a fly
We finally get to school
My sneakers squishing on the floor
Julia asks whats wrong
I say get away you whore
I know its not that nice
I feel mad at myself
But shes not my real friend
Without me all she has is herself
I walk away fast
And go to my locker
Chelsea laughs at me
I just want to bop her
I walk into class
Get into my seat
Branden sits next to me
He asks why do you smell like meat
I then realize
That the milk was sour
I look down at my desk
I really need a shower
I go through the day
All the way to lunch
I sit down at a table
And my mom didn't give me to much
She gave me a cracker
She gave me a pea
What can I do now
But eat lunch quietly
I make it through school
Nothing really new
I walk all the way home
And get the key outta my shoe
I walk inside
I lock the door
Not that I really care
I don't want to live anymore
I do my homework
Walk down the stairs
And go on the computer
I the only thing that really cares
I go on Quizilla
My home away from home
I go on my account
And start writing this poem
I listen to some music
And start to sing a song
I love that its by Greenday
Because my mom says its wrong
I write and sing till mom gets home
Then I hear dad come in
I can see he's drunk
My mom looks with disgust at him
Shes drunk too
I can tell
She says wheres my supper bitch
I wonder where is hell
I say I'm sorry I forgot
She doesn't care
She gives me a funny look
And runs up the stairs
I hear her puck
She goes to bed
As does dad
I bend my head
I walk outside
I wonder to myself
Why they want perfection
Why can't I go to hell
I start to cry
Shining tears then I hear a voice
I look up to see
My neighbor Joice
Hes a boy
His really names John
I feel that with him around
Nothing can go wrong
He kneels down and holds me tight
I hold him very close
I smile as I stop crying
Hes my medical dose
I smile
Hes smiles back
We know what to do
As he rubs my back
We walk into the ditch
Waiting for the moment
That oh so special time
We think of the times we've spent
Then we see it
The most awesome thing in the world
It is coming fast
I was so nervous I almost hurled
He saw that I was nervous
He squeezed my hand tight
The thing was getting close
We ran with all our might
We stopped
A few seconds before it came
He kissed me tenderly
Then it started to rain
We were still kissing
It seemed to take forever
We both felt the blow
We wouldn't have it any other way never ever
I was there for a few more seconds
Feeling all the pain
Both our faces gleaming
In the midnight rain
My eyesight started to turn black
It seemed to take so long
Just before I died
I said
"What Did I Do Wrong?"
♠ ♠ ♠
The abuse didn't actually happen! Though my dad really is an a-hole and those parts with those kids being mean to me waiting for the bus and in school did actually.