for you

I feel as though youre slipping from my everlasting grasp, too tired to continue as I look into the past. Emotion surrounds me then attacks with a blast. Too many days go by where I dread what ive become. So sorry I can’t be that girl so you can say you won, but even though ive hurt us both I want to bear your son. I want to be there with you until my dying day, so please stop and listen to what I have to say. Look into my eyes and help me find a way. Help me cope inside to block out all the bad, help me extinguish the flame and block out the sad. I cry and cry because I love you, don’t leave me boo. You told me you never wanted to be a dad, but I changed your mind, and it made me pretty glad. Never thought id find you but luckily I did. Started dreaming of a prince charming since I was just a kid. Always afraid of the unknown so I hid, but little did i know, it got me in a jar and closed the lid. Darkness around me smothers my every gasp, its clawing at me and tightened its grasp, smirking and growling at every breath I take, how much longer will this last? But you come to my rescue and resuscitate me, you create my fate and understand whats on my plate, its great, youre the missing puzzle piece, no more hate. But I don’t understand, how you could toss me aside, like I was never your bride, like I had never stopped and cried, like I had lied. I don’t get it, I don’t want to know why, but I do, Ill only hide for a few, choke me till im blue, I don’t care as long as I have you.

now listen, I remember back one day when I fucked it up, all of a sudden I went missing, didn’t listen to your wishing. Mom saw me, called you in a panic, went satanic, and started hissing. Asian boy all on me, baby like a zombie, feelings were crushed, and I was gone be, cause I wasn’t thinking, mind was out drinking, drunk in a bar, and I just started sinking. I fucked you over without even a though until it ended, thoughts all just kinda blended, conductor left the train unattended, it crashed and burned in a moment, and when I saw your face I got rear ended. I exploded in despair and realized what I had just done, convinced that I wasn’t the one, you were gonna leave me quicker than a run, as far as chances, I thought I had none. But that wasn’t true, you stayed and some might call you a fool,I cried every second when I wasn’t in school, honestly I felt like a fucking ghoul. Evil inside cause I lied to your mother, sat there and cried because I thought youd find another. Never forgiving myself for being a shitty lover. You might question if I even love you but please, believe me when I say it. If I didn’t want to fit with you then why go through this shit?