my prison

Do I create my dark prison? Because it seems I’m the only one trapped in here. It seems like I’m always alone, cold, and dark. I’m not meant to be outside these walls. My minds a prison designed to keep me in this continuous circle of self-sabotage. I can’t seem to see anything not even the ground I’m standing on. So it feels like I’m just falling suspended in midair drifting along a dark sea of misfortune. The waves beat me knock me back and forth. I’m too battered to feel the bruises anymore. I close my eyes and hope to drown in this sea. I reach up and try to pull myself out of this dismay but every time I reach the dark inside my heart grows and drags me down deeper into the depths of my sorrow. I don’t know how much lower I can get. Is there even a bottom to this pit? The voice I hear tells me it’s ok to fall below. Below the shadows. Out of reach. This heart of void of light what’s its use? Got a useless frail thing in my chest it doesn’t beat it doesn’t make a sound. My whole life has been in silence. My life never made a sound. Did I truly exist? I close my eyes and ask these questions. Questions are the only thing that keeps my mind from dying. An infinite supply of unanswered questions. If you believe I still have a soul then you cannot see clearly. There’s nothing left I’m telling you I’m better off alone but I’d be lying. The last smile crosses my face as I lay still and wait for the endless end.