The Buzzards

Trust
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII is something I can't find
In
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII you I'm forever wandering blind.
My
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII life could rest in your hands, but I'd try to steal it back.
Self
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII control is what I lack,
For
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII my anger hides behind my trust, and no trust in me exists.
All
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII my belief goes to god, in him I can depend.
You
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII could try to comfort me, but your hearing you won't lend.
People
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII like you broke down my faith, the trust you'll never taste
Do
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII not try to think you belong; my time is all you waste.
Is
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII this the last poem I write to you?
Tell
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII me why it should even be true
Me
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII and my life aren't yours to keep.
Lies.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII This poem isn't yours as either.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Oh, how the sickly wind blows,
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Stealing away the heat we keep.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Kill me now before the cold
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Takes the best of me.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I think I'd rather be without warmth,
For it reminds me of the credence I give you.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII The trust that will never be replaced.
Those things we can never redo.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII You are the ailing wind;
I am a stone with no warmth for you to steal.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII You are the rushing water;
I am the deadweight you cannot erode.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII For once just be a calming breeze,
So I can lay in peace with you.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII For once just be a bubbling brook,
That lulls me to sleep every night.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I am unbreakable, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII firm.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Unshakable,

Yet I love you to the point that it breaks my heart to say so.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII You are a villain, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII vile.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII A criminal,

And every time I see you coming my mouth is filled with bile.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Now the ice freezes to my heart,
The battle scarred, broken clock.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII The rhythm my life beats too,
The thing you broke apart.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII This malicious desert
That dries my mouth.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII The freaking buzzards
That hum in my ear.

As if a reminder,
That if I die,
They will eat all my flesh,
And suck my bones dry.
Leaving a skull,
The last piece of me,
To slowly wither away in the breeze.

I'd like to be a component of your life
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII But I don't want you to be part of mine.
So when you find that life is sublime
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII All you need to do is be a better person.
Maybe I'll forgive you.

I am a soldier,
I am a fighter,
I will always win.
IIIIII But every time I come home,
IIIIII I'll find empty bottles of gin.
Get out of my house,
Get out of my life.
If I wanted you back
I think I would have
Put more
IIIIII F
IIIIIIII A
IIIIIIIIIII I
IIIIIIIIIIIII T
IIIIIIIIIIIIIII H
in you.

I've lost acceptance to anyone else, why would I let you have it?