Only if you needed me

I love him but I cannot show it,
want him but he cannot know it,
need him but I know it'll never be,
if only he needed me.
Should I smile cause were friends,
or should I cry cause that's all well ever gonna be.
You don't know what you mean to me,
you don't have a clue,
you can't tell by looking at me,
what I feel for you.
The most ironic thing is,
This is the most difficult breakup I cver went through,
But I never really dated you.