Another Night of Old Memories (Flashbacks From The Past (Part 2))

Their screams repeat in my ears
a never-ending battle of terror
played out right before my eyes
I can't run far enough,
can't hide fast enough
nothing I do helps,
their yells repeat over and over
again in my head, their faces,
the words, the sounds
and I feel like I'm nine years old again
I arise in bed too afraid to open my eyes
to see that what I'm hearing is the past
It's no longer something I have to see
but the hurt I felt continues to be felt
5 years later, ten years later,
When will it stop?
I place my blanket over my head,
clench my eyes shut, bite my lip,
try to stay safe in my cocoon
where the past can't hurt me,
and my actions won't reprimand me.
tears make their way from my tightly closed eyes
and I'm reliving the past again, too afraid to sleep,
to scared to move for what might occur
I'm helpless and afraid in my own home
If I close my eyes tight enough,
wrap my blanket around me secure enough,
I'll be safe from everything,
nothing will be able to hurt me,
but it doesn't work like that, the screaming still gets through
all the anger and hurt in my heart and my chest feels it will break

Another night of old memories are stuck in my mind