Free

I almost thought that it was over,
I could have sworn that it was over,
I started to become happy again,
but then you came back
You entered my mind,
You invaded my dreams,
and you tortured me
I couldn't get you out and thats all I want,
I thought you wanted nothing to with me anymore,

I just want to be happy,
I wanted to find love again,
I can't say that I have found it yet,
and I don't want to, not yet
But with you in my mind I can not be happy,
With you I seem to only run around in circles
constantly coming back to the same conclusion,
that it might happen again

That I may once more be happy and then,
Have it all come crashing down around me
It sometimes keeps me awake at night
It keeps me from looking forward and away from the past
All I want is to be happy, not guarded,
to feel safe, not alone
to understand love, not shy away from it

Your keeping me from having all off this
Why must you do this to me
Why must I do this to myself?

I look back at those pictures
I look at the past
I look at the old Facebook messages and cause myself to cry
I make myself hurt
I cause these dreams that don't seem to end

But I did not start this pain
Because I did not lie
Because I am not a hypocrite
Because all I ever wanted was for you to see that I loved you,
to see that I was there for you

Now that you are gone, that is all I want
I wish you out of my life
I wish that I had never felt the love I felt for you
I wish that you never met me that fateful day

One day I shall feel no pain and I shall be completely happy
One day I will not see a Marine Corps. logo and feel hate
One day I will be completely free, happy, and in love