Answer or Question?

Are you my cure?
Or the centre of my disease?
Words fly
Actions are blurred
My memory isn’t up to scratch
Of course, you know that already

Did you sense I had problems?
Or was it that obvious?
My hands would shake
Clasped together around my mouth
Moisture collected across my vision
While my mouth muttered the unreadable
And my stubbornness would be my safety net

What are you really thinking?
When I’m in front of you, playing the fool?
Your thoughts are so allusive
Dodging like canny assassins into the obsolete
They leave gaps, which I stumble upon
And proceed to fall into, for at least another week
The vicious cycle always continues
But alas, I am too shy to ask it all straight

What words flashed through your minds when I shattered?
Did you feel any flicker of emotion?
That calm voice, like trickling water-
It told me to take a deep breath, like
Oxygen was meant to be the cure-all
When I told you of my wish to die
There was nothing readable in your face
Our similar eyes met, once or twice
Damn your training!
And damn my lack of control!

Tell me, can you read me like a script?
Are my eyes really that revealing?
Though only metres away
The distance feels like a canyon
And always, as always, you never
Seem to be there with me-
Or rather, you’ve escape from me
And my hateful moods
Wrathful, unnecessary words
Yet, with all that bad blood, you still
Give eye contact to me, as a precious gift
Leaving me more confused with intentions
Your confidence leaves me completely winded.