So maybe.

So maybe I'm tired.

Tired of being myself,
tired of being told what to do,
tired of even having to do things,
tired of people,
tired of you.

Tired of me.

But I still make it through the day,
I still find things to smile about,
I still laugh like I mean it,
I still fight like I want it.

So maybe I'm just confused.

Confused as to why I do things anymore,
confused because almost everything is irrational,
confused because what I thought I knew is nothing,
confused because what I know now is everything.

Confused about life.

But I still try my best,
I still act like I care,
I still live like there's always tomorrow,
I still keep my head held high,
I still make mistakes.

So maybe I'm just bitter.

Bitter because you're all I ever wanted to be,
bitter because I take so many things for granted,
bitter because I don't have the courage to speak up,
bitter because everything wonderful is taken away from me.

Bitter because I won't allow myself to be happy.

But I still sit here and act like this doesn't bother me,
I still want things I know I can't have,
I still don't have the bravery to say how I really feel,
I still lose everything I have ever loved to people that I can't touch.

So maybe

just maybe

I don't deserve this.