Sketching

To talk about sketching with the oblivious crowd,
it's the thoughtless activity of creating scattered drawings.
But to anyone who has flirted with the darker meaning,
it's a willingly brought-on state of paranoia.

---

There's this corner
of my room;
my safe haven.

Where the monsters
terrorize me, but
I seem to have tricked
myself into thinking
that they're...
lurking...
elsewhere...

Where my thoughts are
being twisted till
I'm positive they're being....
fed to me...
instead of...
coming from me.

There's a shelf of books
that I turn to for
seeds to be planted
into my distanced mind.

Seeds that tell me I'm
completely fine (right now).
That I'll be
better (tomorrow).

Seeds that tell me I
need to find God (to save me).
That I shouldn't
listen to myself (to change me).

And by the time it's
all over, I've only broke away
with more questions and
demons to hide from.