Insomnia Pills

I checked for your profile, but your name has disappeared
I'm retracing my steps to find the girl who i thought was weird.

She tore me apart, her moods and beliefs tearing through the life I live
I tried for so long to keep her happy until I had nothing left to give
she drove me away, made me afraid to return
afraid to come home
afraid to let her see what i've become

She tore me apart, I couldn't stand it for very long
but when the time came, I wasn't ready to sing our last song.
She scared me away, but I'm crawling my way back
back from the pain, back from the wreck

I am terrified of what could happen if i made it back to her
My feelings have dried of any fluid, a single spark will set it all to flames
the flames will reignite the fire we once had, make it stronger
Or it will simply engulf me and flames and leave me as dust.

She fills my heart with misery every time i see her
I cry for the things she's experienced
I weep for the things she thought I was.
I wail for the time we didn't have to see each other;
see through each other

Under the magnifying glass where she would see my weakening heart
It would feel her touch and grasp to a newfound hope.
But as she pulls her finger away, it freezes in spot and shatters
Unfixable