Hidden Heart

I breathe deep
then a little harder.
There I can feel it.
My heart is there alright
ticking 'til my death,
heavily guarded by
stone and fire.
Not all the gold
in Ft. Knox had it this good.

Its sunk deep within
the depths of my emotion
years of pressure rusted the
door securely shut.
It will take more than
a blowtorch to burst it open
so it could fly free.
But once its free it wouldn't know
what to do in an adult world.

This is what imprisonment has done.
Don't repeat it. I meant to save me
but I've taken the other extreme
and nearly killed me.
Letting myself to love is to admit it
Which is hard, it breaks my pattern
Of hiding and smiling falsely whenever
the boys swerve around me in a slow dance,
not to sway with me in that pathetic shuffle
which is so coveted among girls like me.
No the boys ask the other girls.
The girls they know personally
The girls that let themselves love.

Oh, hidden heart, if you're still alive
come out, come out, wherever you are!
No one can break those chains but you.
Unite with my mind again
let your power fill my body as it used to
so that I may smile instead of frown
enjoin the fun instead of prowling the edges.
What you've missed out on because you chose to hide.
You've missed out on stifled giggles with
your sister discussing crushes and therefore
getting closer to her. You've missed out on
mercy, kindness, and friends.
Come out, come out! Since you've done it before
can you do it now? Come out of the iron you're clad in
and put on something flattering for a change.