Aren't I......?

how many times are you allowed
to hurt me?
how many times are you allowed
to make me cry?
you promised me we would always
be friends.
but you did it once again.
just straight up lied to me.
if only you knew of this one
confession i have for you
only then will praise my pain?
there i go again believeing the lies
that i know are completly not true
shouldn't i be allowed to confess my pain?
aren't i allowed to take part in this
game?
arent i allowed to at least stop crying?
arent i allowed to at least try to stop
my heart from aching?
from breaking?
maybe if i leave and never return
i'd get better
i use to have just one bestfriend
to talk me out of my crazy suicide
plans.
but i dont even have her no more
she even turned against me
all because i have this stupid
ass fucking feelings for
THAT'S IT..!!
im finally done
now i have given up on me to