I Shall Disappear

I’m a failure.
I’m fat.
I’m emo.
I’m different.
I’m stupid.
I’m a mistake.
I’m ugly.
I’m unlovable.
I’m hideous.
I’m a wreck.
I’m just a kid.
I’m nothing good.
I’m weak.
I’m a bitch.
I’m a cunt.
I’m a whore.
I’m worthless.
I’m supposed to be dead…

That’s what everyone wants,
Me to be gone,
To leave them alone,
To never show my face,
To not be alive.
They want me to break,
Into little tiny pieces,
So microscopic,
That they’ll be like dust,
And never be found again.
I’ll be dead,
No one will know,
They’ll be happy.

Teachers are supposed to be there.
Adults in general.
No one is here.
No one that I can trust.
No one that I truly believe in.
Everyone always gets mad at me.
They stop talking to me,
They eventually fade away from my life,
Like little raindrops on a windowsill,
Just like all my smiles.
I’m supposed to have someone,
Someone there for me,
But no one is there.
No one for me.

I just want to be gone.
Be done.
With everything.
No one knows who I am,
No one understands my individuality.
Yet,
Everyone tries,
I should come with a warning sign.
I should just disappear.

In fact,
I will…