Dear Little Brother

Scribble down meaningless words for me
Make it all right
For the things I've done wrong
Promise me everything I cant have
Learn to pretend your way through life
Survive the hell I never did
Learn from the things said in secret
The outside world is bigger than you'd think
Yes it's lying through it's teeth
But your living in denial
I hate the way your hurting
And the way you never tell
Forgive me for my weakness, for my failures
I'm sorry I didn't bring you to heaven with me
I'm sorry I didn't have the strength to save you
Your housing a monster, stealing your precious air
I lost touch with reality
I lost you.
Little one you hold my everything
I'd give up the world in a heartbeat for you
I've caused you so much pain
I could never truly heal you
And again for that
I'm more sorry than you could ever imagine
You'll always be better than me
Inside and out.
You've brought me back to life more than once
You kept me going when i was ready to give in
You're so innocent and confused
At least you were before I messed you up
So many terrible things
We've both lived through the burning fires
Missing pieces and awkward questions
We're almost twins yet miles apart
I'm fully aware of your absence
Every moment without you feels unreal
Like something is just wrong.
Half Heartedly, in a haze
I'm walking in your shadow
Searching every minute
Turning, looking over every young boy
Hoping to find your familiar smile
Staring back at me.