Hopeless But Hoping

It's hard to pretend it's all okay.
It's hard to image a day without pain.
It's hard to stop.

I don't know how to be happy anymore.
I don't know what it feels like.
I don't know of reasons why I should be happy.

Sometimes, I'm not "me".
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Sometimes I get carried away by my sadness and pain.