I Was

This is the first line
In my new writing book
These are the first thoughts
To grace these pages
This is the first book I've opened
In my new room
This is my first choice
For my new voice

I write of endings
All too much
I write of goodbyes
Because I rarely stay in touch
I write of bitter nights
Because they're all I think about
And I taste defeat
Because I'm never in on much

I tell you lies
When I first meet you
I tell you lies
Because then I'll never trust you
I tell you lies
When I don't want you to see me
I tell you lies
So we'll always be apart
I tell you lies 
Because they mean less in the dark

I hold your hand
If you need it
I keep you company
When you lose it
I am friendly and kind
I've always been that way 
I hold my head in my hands
When there's no one there to cradle it

I dream of airplanes
And pipe dreams
But nobody knows it
I dream of yesterday
And I will again tomorrow
But nobody knows why
I dream of realisation
And hope for freedom from my mind
But I can't tell you why

The world is in a bottle
Of uppers and downers 
Of truth serum and poison
And I don't want it
I want an ocean
I want it open