Darkness, light, I am fine.

What goes up must come down.
My thoughts have fallen to the ground.
Where they sit dried and dead.
As I stare blankly back at them.
I'm in a slump.
In a rut.
What goes down must come up.
So, it doesn't usually work that way.
But it's going to now because I need a change.
I need a change of scene, a change of venue.
I need to gather and redesign my life and what it's like.
I'm going insane and out of my head.
Trying to figure out what to say and how it should be said.
I love you, I need you, I hate you sometimes.
Though it's not your fault what my my thoughts do to our life.
I need a break, need a pill.
I'm beginning to feel quite ill.
So I'll take these meds and swallow them deep.
And hope with it all that they heal me.
I've been to doctors, been to shrinks.
I'm forever ill, so you'll just have to take care of me.
My mind is sick and unwell.
"I am fine." Can't you tell?!
Can't you see I'm falling in the darkness?
Perhaps I'm the one who can't see, how should I know, if you're reaching out to help me?
I'm in the dark remember?
There is no light.
Though sometimes I think I see a;
twinkle twinkle little star.
I could reach, but it's so far.
I was running, but I'm out of breath.
I refuse to run myself to death.