I Need To

A part of me has withered away
It broke off and is probably laying somewhere
On the side of the road
Dead
I just want to feel again
I stare out the window,
And realize I can't feel
I can't find who I once was
Numbed by misery
Misery that I shouldn't have
I smile because I love my friends
And I love my life
And I love my family
I smile for you guys, for you
And of course from time to time it's real
Because you guys are funny, you're the reason I wake up every morning
But I've changed, a lot
On the inside, a part of me has died
And I miss it.
I miss being able to look at things from every angle
I miss being able to see colors so much brighter than they are now
Being able to taste so much more in food
I shouldn't dwell on the past, but I do
I remember every moment all of us have had, even if it didn't involve me
I remember you two on the beach, you talked, and you kissed, and it was real
Nothing's real anymore
I can sit and stare at a wall for hours
And think about everything
And still be so cold
I will still stare, and still feel nothing
I want to feel again
I want-
I need to.