My Friend Mac

My dear, trustworty friend named Mac
There are some things I should get off my back
So please keep these strange things a secret
Whatever you hear tonight, just keep it…
To yourself.

It’s so hard to open up the lid to my heart
But keeping it in is only tearing me apart
My eyes scream for a helping hand
But everyone around me is just as bland
With sadness.

No one can help if everyone is waiting
No one knows that my smile is just me faking
When everyone needs a happy smile
I have to force it just for a little while…
‘til they’re happy too.

But the heaviness in my chest does its best to tempt me
My once beautiful night sky only makes me feel more empty
With each and every passing day
I start to run out of things to say…
It’s so lonely.

But I can’t say anything to anyone about this feeling
Then it’d be their sympathy and pity I’d be stealing
‘How’s your day?’ ‘How’s life?’ is what they ask
‘Good’ ‘okay’ I smile and move on to the next task…
Forcing my concentration.

Can’t they tell how I am in the way I walk?
The way my eyes are lifeless, how I don’t talk?
Only silently waiting for help that doesn’t come
I’m only pretending to have careless joy and fun…
While they’re around.

But deep inside, it’s a crazy mess
I’m starting to smile less and less
My chest gets heavier each bright morning
I get up and out of the same bed forlornly…
To a new day.

Trying to be strong with my head held high
But when I’m alone all I can do is silently cry
Waiting to open this bottled up sorrow
Hoping and waiting for a better tomorrow
For something more.

One day I’ll let everything out by will
That bottle with burst, crack, and spill
But for now I’ll keep writing hoping someone will look
At my dear precious friend, my loving white MacBook
Here in my lap.